The light within

Yoga and I have never been completely harmonious. I've taken plenty of classes, both at private studios and the gym. I've bought dvds from respectable sources and read more than a few articles and books on the subject. I've tried to establish a daily practice with limited success. And yet, something as simple as child's pose still eludes me. For the love of Gravy, it's called child's pose.

I understand the principles of yoga, but that's not the same as truly getting it. Once I'm squeezed into the necessary spandex my exercise regime requires, my sports-driven, cardio-intensive mindset struggles to slow down and focus on each pose. I'm surprisingly deficient at stamina, proper technique and breathing. I'm easily lured to sleep when the lights are dimmed, and, to top it off, I'm flatulent...and still juvenile enough to get the giggles when I toot in public.

Now that I have a new prana, I joined a pre-natal yoga class at a local studio. And for the first time, both yoga and pregnancy kind of made sense. Stay with me.

For starters, everyone there was further along than me and had visible baby bellies. Yes, I knew it was a pre-natal class, but I felt slightly awe-struck that there were only pregnant women there and I'm sure I gave more than one the creeps with my enthusiastic newbie smile. The instructor was great...she had a smooth voice, an easy nature, and a sense of humor. It was nice to have her tell me what was a good idea for a pre-mama to do and not do. I'm not really getting those tips in my other exercise classes and I've always had hearing loss when it comes to listening to my body...no pain no gain, the drive of an athlete, blah blah blah. It was nice to know what was a good stopping point in a posture before I got to the gone-too-far *ouch* moment.

The poses were thoughtful and slow and easy to modify depending on how pregnant you were. There were poses that required partnering with someone else similar in size. I was paired with the woman having twins soon. I like to think it was because of our similar height. Anyhoot...I felt like I was breathing correctly throughout the class, and that pleased my inner teacher's pet. But it also made me feel like I might actually be tuned in. It was nice to begin to focus my breath and awareness on and around my baby.

But my favorite part was the end of the class. Not that it was over, but because of the last super-relaxing position and the words of the instructor. She told us we are part of the universe, and we should be extra-open to letting it embrace us during this time in our life. Ohhh, I liked that. I already believe we are star-stuff. I waited too many days to write this post, so I don't remember everything she said that tingled my spidey senses, but I loved that she said things about being still and part of the universe, about being happy and at peace and present in the moment with my baby.

Normally my place in this universe is most clairvoyant when I'm on the beach, below the waves, in the woods or under the stars. For the first time in my yoga universe, the stars aligned: the poses were fluid, the breathing was right, the gas did not pass. But what are stars if not balls of gas, right?! So it would have been okay if I had. The universe was in balance and I started making real room for a new little star.

Child's pose takes on a different meaning when there's an actual child in the center of it.

Namaste.